So I was looking in the refrigerator today when I happened to notice two jars of mayonnaise tucked away w-a-a-a-y-y in the back of the ref.  "Hmmm," I thought to myself, "betcha those things have expired by now..."

Well, guess what...they've expired.

Actually, one of the jars didn't have an expiration date on it, but I know that it's older than the second jar, which expired in September of 1996.  You'll have to trust me on how I know the one jar is older...it has to do with it's position in the refrigerator when I found it, the fact that it had less mayonnaise in it than the other jar, and other scientific data compiled by my research team...

Anyway, so then I thought to myself, "Hmmm, I wonder why I didn't notice these guys before?", which it turns out was a very short-lived thought because I was soon asking myself a more important question: "Hey, I wonder if these are still okay to eat!"

So I opened each jar and sniffed...and I sniffed again...

You know what?  They smelled just like "fresh" mayonnaise...no funny odors or anything, and they looked okay too!  So now I'm really curious: "How long does mayonnaise REALLY last?"  Somebody help me with this...is mayonnaise one of those things that really does expire, or does Kraft just put an expiration date on it so that we feel the need to throw away perfectly good mayonnaise and buy "newer" mayonnaise?

The question is particularly interesting when you consider the number of products out there that DON'T have an expiration date.  For instance, I just now checked my freezer and there's a box of Stouffer's French Bread pizza in there with no expiration date on it.  How old is this pizza?  Well, let's just say I remember taking it with me when I moved into this house (almost three years ago now...)  Three year old pizza...yuck.  And look, a Marie Callendar's Turkey and Gravy frozen dinner!  No expiration date on this one either.  It does have a proof of purchase symbol on the box--I guess I ought to keep that to prove what made me sick.

Just once I'd like to sit in on a product evaluation meeting at the FDA and figure out how this all really works.  And then I think, "wouldn't it be cool if other things had expiration dates?"  Like Bee Gees albums (do not listen to this record after March, 1975), or CLOTHES (do not wear this tie after October, 1964), or even WORDS (do not use the word "swell" after January, 1959).  Think of the possibilities!!

Hey, does toothpaste expire???  I gotta go check.........

Later, y'all!!!!